WHOOP, THERE IT IS!

There is no logic behind my blog title today. I just wanted to stick a very annoying tune in your head for the remainder of the day. Don't deny it. It worked.

Listen up guys I need your attention. I am in the market for a bicycle. I came to the conlcusion during the drive to my office (after consuming a delicious greek wrap for lunch and making the purchase of an adorable vintage dress) that it is not conducive towards a healthy lifestyle for me to operate a motorized vehicle. My mental health is being corrupted daily. Every time I get behind the wheel I am taking precious hours off my life. Not only am I certain I irritate other drivers on the street, I am starting to annoy myself. I once had a boyfriend threaten to have the horn removed from my vehicle. I am ashamed of my behavior at times. I am waiting for the inevitable day I inadvertently honk at-flip off-verbally abuse my mother, my boss, or neighbor. I become a mad woman. In case you haven't had the pleasure of having me chaffeur you around the town, let me tell you that I am always right when I drive. This translates to I am always going the perfect speed, I am always in the lane that was paved for me no one else, and when fellow drivers see me coming they better get out of the way ("oh, here comes J get over, get over"). I also cuss like a sailor. I am terrified of the day I accidentally dial a friend, and without knowing and while friend is on the line, have one of my driving tantrums and have to later explain to friend why I am so unbelievably crazy when I am on the road.

I envision a yellow (yella to you southern folk) cycle doning a basket [duh] so I can tote my purse and other nessitites. When I get a new puppy he or she will commute with me via the basket (are you humming the tune from the witch scene in Wizard of Oz, too)? "I'm frightened Aunti Em, frightened." [my fav line from the movie]

It's Friday. I'm a very happy girl. I will talk to you guyz and galz lata...

MCSASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSY