Lodi Dodi

I have a suspicion this is going to be a long blog. Calm down. I know you're excited.

I just had a delicious turkey sandwich from a local sandwich shop. Yummm. I love this particular sandwich shop because while you wait for your delicious treat to be served, one can catch up on worldy events kudos to the provided local newspaper. I never fail to find the most interesting ads while inspecting the classifieds at this particular eatery. A couple of months ago I fell upon the classic "To the person who stole my walking cane in Home Depot on Sunday - lawsuit has been filed" ad. What insightful ad did I gaze upon today? This is ver batim. "I have had a bad experience in buying some puppies. For details please call me at..." What's the issue? You're check didn't clear? The pup turned out to be a con artist and took you for all you're worth? I am considering making the call. If you're interested, I have the telephone number. To make my lunch experience even more delightful, I made a friend in the sandwich shop. Quite a talker that one. Just when I thought the conversation could go no further he surprised me with yet another question. Mistake number 1 - telling him I am in the market for a dog. Trust me on this, the communication was painful. Who knew one could retain so much knowledge about tail-waggers.

Moving along now.

Great news. The week of my 32nd birthday I will be on hiatus for 7 days in San Diego/La Jolla. Here's a bit of Josie trivia. Several years ago during my first trip to La Jolla I pronounced the "J" and "L's" in Jolla for 4 days until a good samaritan finally had the heart to tell me I was pronouncing it ALLLLL wrong:

Cali Local - "You're from the South? You don't say! Where you guys staying?"
Me - "This nice 2 bedroom condo in LA-JAL-LAAAA"
Cali Local - "Ohhhhh, goodness. How cute. It's Jolla. You know, as in Oscar De La Hoya. Ha. I've never heard that before. Hey John, get over here. This girl just said JAAAA-LLLLAAA"

Idiot.

I followed this up with a 2 minute death stare at my week long travel companion.

During my holiday I plan to do nothing but lay on the beach and soak up the sun for an entire week.

Due to stress and lack of time, I have found it difficult to post new blogs. It has been a challenge for me this week to find anything of interest to blog about. I asked my dear friend Shizzzle for blog topics and she said:

What about funny little anecdotes or stories about your childhood? Past loves? Growing up as a twin? Things you've learned over the years? Favorite things that don't cost money?

Childhood stories? Always an option. Past loves? How much time do we have and is defamation of character a legitimate concern? Favorite things that don't cost money. Only one thing comes to mind and it starts with an S and ends with an X. That's right, I am a big fan of the sax. It is one of my favorite passtimes - and you didn't even know! I can work the saxophone like no other.

I've had many conversations this week with someone special [meow] about past loves. He and I covered all bases from love to sex to relationships. One topic that came up is one night stands. Have I had one? To be honest I am not quite sure. Does it count as a one night stand if I did not know the indivdiual prior to the [blissful] act but became friends after-the-fact? Let me state for the record, I have no regrets. There were several standing ovations over the course of a couple of months.

More to TALE about past relationships but we'll save that topic for another time. I am going to take the bait on Shizzzle's suggestion and blog a bit about my life as a twin. READY-SET-GO...

Because Jess and I have been twins for 32 years now (33 if you count our shared time in the womb) it's clearly impossible to recount everything. The following is a synopsis, if you will, of some of my endearing memories as a twin:

***Twin and I playing "Peter Brady" which consisted of the two of us jumping up and down on the bed sparatically while attacking one another with tickles and scratches and, if my memory serves me right, chanting of some sort. During one (and probably the last) game of Peter Brady the twin scratched off a raised mole that was once located on my stomach. That sucker bled for hours. The following day a friend at school tormented me with the notion that a mole inadvertently removed from your body results in cancer. In the days that followed I was a walking time bomb. My mother would have to go into another room and hide her laughter as I lay on the couch, wrapped head-to-toe in a blanket, while religously studying a medical encyclopedia, waiting for my imminent death.

***Pencil and eraser. In pictures as little girls the twin always looked like a pencil standing beside me, the eraser. I always had some form of candy or treat in hand. The twin was always empty handed. While we don't remember for sure, we believe I abducted her treat and devoured it before anyone noticed. My parents have an 8-track cassette containing audio clips of the twin and I when we were very young girls. One of the questions asked was "what's your favorite food". The twin responds "I like chicken noodle soup". In a husky scowl I state for the listening audience "I like steak and bacon". Of course you do, fatty.

*** Twin and I physically fighting. Typically this involved her pulling my hair, me scratching her face, and a lot of dual somersaults on the ground. My mom would act like she was trying to break up the brawl but in reality she sat back and enjoyed the show. I remember one time in particular when the twin and I were 16 years old my parents had to place us in separate rooms of the house. This didn’t stop the name calling. Here is another example where my parents tried to lay down the law but simply couldn’t keep from chuckling over our relentless blows.

*** I am not proud of this tidbit. I use to have twin do all my dirty work. This includes running tedious errands at odd times of the day. For example, a midnight Doritos run and I mean literally a run because neither she or I had a car at the time. I also would have twin return mundane and difficult to make phone calls. “I don’t want to go out with Brad tonight, will you please call him and pretend you are me and say something came up”. It took a lot of work but eventually the twin would fold.

[more to come]...

~ JOSIEEEEE