lost in transition

fishsticks, fiddlesticks, pick up sticks, stack of bricks

I am blown away when I stop and think about how quickly we arrive at the first of a new month. I don't even remember April - did we skip it? It's a scary yet invigorating feeling. I have really learned to not take anything for granted.

I'm a little heartbroken today which you won't catch me bloggin' about much - if ever - really an emotion I prefer to keep to myself. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook which is a sentiment that's getting easier every day. I have been absent minded for over a week. It's not a healthy way to go about my days. I am growing a friend for my ulcer. It's not often that I throw myself into a tizzy but when I do my body takes a beating from the stress. Eating has been frowned upon which after my weekend of glutony this is a positive result. I feel similar to how you feel when you suck down that last gin and tonic and regret it immediately - dizzy and aloof while vomit rests impatiently in the back of your throat teasing you with possibility. Desperate for this feeling to fade.

Maybe I should become a blonde. Maybe I should reunite with an old friend. Maybe I need a new hobby. Maybe Zuber and I should rekindle our love affair. I miss that guy. Speaking of missing a guy, Randale graced me with his presence last night for a short but sweet catchup session and it served as a much needed escape from my pouty demeanor. I could lie and say the lighthearted conversation made me happy but honestly it was the glass of wine.

These lovely lyrics come from a song that has grown on me like a bad habit and it comes highly recommended.

Wilco's "Either Way"

Maybe the sun will shine today
The clouds will blow away
Maybe I won’t feel so afraid
I will try to understand
Either way

A picture of Jerry Seinfeld and I:













It's a little hard to tell from the picture but I gained a decent 2-5 pounds this past weekend. My parents instilled a healthy relationship towards food growing up only to fatten me as an adult. I ate so much Sunday night it caused heart palpitations.

Because of my funk I may treat myself to something special tonight. A pedicure I don't have to perform would be rewarding. If I had an appetite I'd go for a big, juicy steak. I will admit my loss of appetite didn't interfere with the 5-8 peices of bacon I ate early this morning (they were skinny). Some things can never be stopped.

In closing, I am optimistic about October. ~ jojo