Did you know that more than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. Unfathomable.
Why do the elderly feel the need to initiate agonizing conversation about things you couldn’t care less about? You want to shove a sock into their mouth 2 minutes into the conversation. It’s a narrative of every thought pops has conjured in the old noggin for weeks. They're constantly on the prowl for their prey looking to make eye contact with anyone. I've considered playing deaf after being cornered into a story. You can't help visioning the old fossil croaking mid sentence possibly from choking on their Vicks cherry cough drop. They drag on and on because what do they have better to do? They victimize everyone from the Walgreens store clerk to the hispanic working the Luby's line. Anyone with ears, basically. Here is a thought - we don’t care about your lack of bowels, the boysenberry jam you made last Tuesday and no we didn’t see that rerun of Murder She Wrote because the show is awful. One last thing, turn over those car keys oldtimer. Public transportation is for you.
Customer service reps – if you hate your damn job so much do us a favor and quit. Jump off your pedestal and take a leap into reality. You act as if we're doing a disservice by calling in and requiring you to do your job. That power you believe you have is in your head. If life is really that bad for you allow me to let you in on a 6 letter secret – PROZAC.
Picture this, if you will. It’s July 9th and your departing China for a flight home to New York City. Due to significant time change and an extremely lengthy flight you land on the 11th. Your birthday was July 10th. Did you miss it?
Today on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood he paid a visit to the Stomp crew during one of their rehearsals. You might find the following statement hard to believe but I saw it with my very own eyes: Mr. Rogers performed the broom skit with Stomp during rehearsal. In the beginning it seemed as if Fred struggled a bit with the beat but he caught on quickly. We learned you can make music with your bodies and various items. Mr. Rogers told Stomp they were very special neighbors before heading home to [cook dope] play make believe. Today Daniel was upset because Lady Elaine Fairchilde turned Mr. McFeely into a doll. Why did we never get word on some sort of creepy sex fetish on Fred?
That's all I got today. I'm tired and ready for the weekend. Au revoir!
WAY TO GO SOX!!!!
Love, Josie
4 comments:
AHHH..... Old people scare me.
I always enjoy hearing your thoughts and look forward to future 'rants'
Something for you to ponder: Is it still called a hearing when a deaf person goes to court?
Meow
By old people I mean REALLY REALLY OLD PEOPLE.
Here is another Question for you to ponder: If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
anonymous -
you're bitter because you missed out on what was possibly one of the best decades of our time. You were born at a time when Daryl Hall & John Oats had a smash hit, our country was led by Ronald Reagan (boo) and album of the year went to John Lennon AND YOKO ONO! Sad times. All you had was MTV and Pac Man.
Ha!
~ J
I am talking about OLD OLD PEOPLE that curse me in the isles of the local supermarket for dawdling too long infront of the sinus medicine.... as far as im concerned you and i are from the same generation....granted you are older, but your not OLD.
P.S. from the way you describe it, it doesnt sound like i missed out on alot. ooh and im not bitter. im sweet
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