I was lying in my warm bed this morning agonizing over stepping foot on the cold hardwoods so I gave myself the typical 5 minute allowance. This led me to ponder on the value of 5 minutes.
A deadline. Your boss is standing over you persistenly pestering you with "how's it coming?" It would come a lot easier if you would get off my ass and give me five more minutes of peace. Right?
I can talk about this because I am a victim of such incidents on occassion due to IBS (aka Irritible Bowel Syndrome). You've just made a mad dash to the bathroom and the second you make the commode your temporary home there is a knock at the door followed by "you almost done in there". In reality you feel like you'll never be done in there. 5 more minutes of serenity, pretty please.
When you are being pressured to make a selection from the menu at a restaurant and you are having a difficult time choosing between two items. You request that the server return in five minutes. He returns in 15.
Ladies can attest to the importance of 5 more minutes during a hot (or possibly bad) session of lovemaking. Heck, sometimes just one more minute. 20 seconds even.
When you are up to no good and within minutes of getting caught. Trespassing. Snooping through a friend's diary. Reading your boyfriend's text messages. Going through your sister's mail [wink]. You think nervously to yourself "give me five more minutes, I just need five more minutes".
A painfully close college football game between two highly combative teams. The clock reads 5 minutes. Your team is playing defense and down by 7.
Clothes shopping with your spouse or significant other and he cries "I am miserable" and you plea "5 more minutes I swear". He sighs and agrees "but then I am walking out to the car" followed with nervous pacing in front of the store while whining about how there are one hundred other things he'd rather be doing.
When someone says "you've got 5 minutes to [tell me, get here, return the money] or else"...
You're in the car and just arrived at your destination when one of your favorite songs comes on the radio and you haven't heard it in a long time. If I only had 5 more minutes.
The best for last: when you are with someone you adore and don't want the moment to ever end. Maybe you are at the airport or in a doorway. 5 more minutes to relish your time together.
Five minutes can feel like an eternity in the following circumstances: when it is 4:55 pm on a Friday afternoon; during a rootcanal; during a Brazilian wax; riding in a car sitting uncomfortably close to a stranger; the complete process of taking a pregnancy test and waiting for the results; dinner on a blind date; watching paint dry; running on a treadmill, waiting on a verdict; watching NASCAR; when you are absolutely faminished and waiting on your frozen pizza to cook in the oven; after administering an enema (you enema virgins - trust me on this); you get a telephone call from a friend who says "are you sitting down because you are not going to believe this...oh shoot I am going to have to call you back in five minutes" at which point you raise your closed fist up to the sky and scream "NOOOOOOOOO"!
Cheers ladies and gents! ~ Josie
2 comments:
Sooo funny that you wrote about that. I vaguely remember saying that to myself while on your couch. "Just 5 more min. and ill get up and go to bed". That 5 min lasted FOREVER. I think I said it around 10:30...... I got in bed just before 3:00!
Good stuff kitten
The 5 minutes you should have taken to go to the bathroom that you didn't and now you are stuck in traffic on the interstate and looking for a water bottle in your car and wondering how in the world you are going to (1) keep the perverted guy in the semi next to you from seeing you and (2) manage to hit the hole.
Post a Comment