Oh Senor Don Gato Was a Cat

On a high red roof Don Gato sat
He went there to read a letter,
Meow, meow, meow
Where the reading light was better,
Meow, meow, meow
'Twas a love note for Don Gato

We all know how that story ends. Don't read the note Don Gato, please do not read the note.

My audio engine of preference has really been pushing Britney Spears’ new single “Gimme More”. The combination of a little curiosity mixed with my existing music funk created a recipe for melodic disaster. The only acclaim I can provide to the B-girl is she has one marvelous team of marketers. The perpetual exposure of negative publicity was the primary reason for my own self mutilation. It’s like watching someone try to place a derailed train back on the track. So shoot me, I gave it my ears. Two seconds after clicking the play arrow I was stunned with embarassment. What has brought me down to this low standard? It was murder of the first degree to my ears. I took off my earphones and walked away from my desk a couple of times during the observation to ensure that the disastrous melody could not be heard blaring from my phones by others in my office. There is never a good time for this jazz but certainly not at 8:15 on a Thursday morning. Inspiring minds want to know, who is the fool that listens to this garbage and thinks “wow, now that’s something". I'm sick to my stomach.

To nuetralize the havoc I am currently listening to Killing In The Name by Rage Against the Machine.

Ignorance REALLY is Bliss.

I am in a state of ambivalence which has my creativity levels flowing.

There is a quaint asian nail salon across the street from my office and I recently started utlizing their "brow waxing" services simply because they are next to free at "Queens Nails". Another bonus "Walk-Ins Welcome". It brings a smile to my face when I walk upon the handwritten "We Accept No Check" sign on the door. Asians are clearly not hooked on phonics.

I attempted to have my brows waxed yesterday. When I walked in to the salon the young asain lad inquired "what you need" whereupon I informed him I was in the market for a wax. In turn, he shouted what sounded like "you come back we no have wax no one here you come back tomorrow she not here today okay tomorrow okay". I am confused. Are you asking me a question or making a statement. Regardless I respond "You aren't leaving me with much of an option". I walk out with a disappointed disposition [tounge twister].

Today I walked in with confidence and a smile on my face. While I was informed "there be wait, k" I was assured I would be seated in the wax chair within minutes. I turn my attention to my blackberry when suddenly I am mesmorized by the love ballads playing throughout the salon. I can't lie - I was impressed. I found myself in a trance with Lionel's heartbreaking "Hello" lyrics. I even made a note on my blackberry "download hello". Next up was Careless Whisper by Wham. At this point I am fighting the urge to request a copy of the mixer. The most fascinating aspect to this experience is that the asians, who speak little to no English and who like to taint us by speaking to the other asians in the store with the language of their native tongue, knew every word to every tear jerker. I wondered if maybe one of their relatives/co-workers had recently been deported.

I have news to share. I recently developed a "pen pal" relationship with a prisoner. My new buddy's name is Steve. I will provide details tomorrow, mmmkay?

Don't you love her as she's walking out the door...

~ Josie McSass