Hair there!

I had dinner with a friend last night and mid-chow I excused myself to the powder room. The lavatory was vacant which allowed me to select the stall of my preference. I am a creature of habit so, as is customary, I sail towards the middle stall. 2 seconds before my naked body made contact with the toilet seat my eyes were drawn to what might possibly be the longest pubic hair I have, in 31 years, come to know. I don't feel that I've been missing out. I would have been perfectly happy not acquanting myself with this disgusting treasure.

My immediate reaction was to move to stall 3. No way was I wiping that thing off the seat. Not even with a surgical glove. In a disgusted manner I maneuver to the adjacent stall and immediately check the ins and outs of the toilet to ensure that the villian hadn't polluted this toilet as well perhaps during a follow-up trip. All clear. While doing my business I mull over the long, thick and harsh bit of what I consider "private hair". It was manly in nature. The thought of this thing coming from a woman made me dizzy. There was no question of gender because I was in a female restroom (that's a whole separate blog so lets just go with the odds, shall we). This...this...this thing belonged to a female. No wonder her body rejected it. There has got to be some crazy stuff going on with her down there. I know dogs shed in the summer so maybe she's losing her summer coat. I just don't know! Of course I had to take another gander at the thing before making my exit. After my second observation I confirmed, yep, definitely a pubic hair. You could almost mistake it for a cut of thread.

I return to the table and share my delightful experience with my friend. I tell him I just saw what might be the longest pubic hair ever. Friend is in disbelief. Friend wants a picture. Dammitt. The one time I don't have my camera with me. My friend, being the cool cat he is, loans me his camera phone for the once in a lifetime (god willing) photo op. He sets the gadget up and shows me when/where/how to snap the picture. During my return journey to the lavatory I didn't want fellow diners to see me walking into the restroom holding the device all geared up and ready to capture a moment so naturally I pretend like I am taking a very important call. I am walking around the restaurant, right index finger pressed firmly against my right ear while loudly saying something like "yeah, huh, oh no, I don't know it's really loud in here let me move to a quiet place like the restroom" [wink wink]. But we know. There's no conversation coming from the other end. I am on a mission.

Upon arrival I notice the nasty thing still clinging to the commode for dear life. Sick. 1, 2, 3 SNAP. Might I add that this might be the first time I have taken a photo in a public restroom. I am 99% positive it's the first time I have taken a photo of a public toilet seat. So having shared this debacle with you, it is only fair that I share this exclusive picture. Exhibit "A" below is evidence of my saga. I only wish you could have been there to share in the moment. Sadly, the picture doesn't give the hair the glory it deserves and rightfully earned.

Ciao, friends...

EXHIBIT "A"