i have a secret

i got your attention.

you should know better...secrets are meant to be kept not told.

you know I am going to say it so here it goes...what a month! i have neglected my blog, i am run down due to my lack of creativity, my prisoner misses me something awful, I put on a good holiday 5 (thanks mom), and we're headed towards the dark days of january. stay tuned for more mediocre news.

what's new with josie? thanks for asking. i didn't get that pony i wished for in my letter to claus, but it gives me something to aim for next year. i recovered nicely from a brutal infection to the right kidney, i have a new baby with whiskers named little jerry seinfeld, my hair is growing like a weed, i am no longer a hookah virgin, i've resolved to make no resolutions for 08 except to perfect my craft performing as a ventriloquist, i've adopted a fondness for british sitcom humor, and i've successfully managed to obtain a negative outlook towards squirrels as one put his vicious teeth near my shin at 6 am this morning. i wish i were joking.

while i was on my death bed for a couple of days i optimistically created a small list of benefits to being ill. try these on for size:
* diet. depending on the severity of your ailment one can generally lose a good 5-6 pounds. food sounds as tempting as playing fetch with a tiger.
* this one is for the frugal at heart - save money. while you build up that immune system you build up that pocket book - good for you! due to fever one might say or act in an "unintelligble" manner. use this time wisely. any built up aggressions can be exercised here.
* catch up on your soaps. haven't seen days of our lives in 5 years? no worries. the plot is the same with a few added twists. the child actors are now remarkably the same age as their parents who have apparently discovered the fountain of youth.

in all sincerity, i do resolve to blog more in '08 and, with the aid of my new laptop, kudos to my generous and endearing employer, will be wrting with regularity during the dark days. get ready folks.

have a safe and happy holiday, and please don't do anything i would not do [wink]
~ j

i'm craving mashed potatoes. mmmmm!